I believe in me!

I know that regardless of what happens over the next nine more weeks, that I am amazing! I have been doing things that I have not been willing to do for so many years. Last Friday I met with Ty and things were rough. We did so many different exercises, consisting of cardio and weights of course. But, my the time my hour was up, I wanted to throw-up! She had me pushed to my mental limits, and just when I think I can't do any more, she slaps out another set of each! I am thinking, "Ok, lady I'm gonna have to hurt you. Just as soon as I have the strength to do it!" At some point I was thinking, if I just threw you over this ledge into the basketball courts, it might not hurt. However, I am not that kind of person. Just a thought! It went away after I left the gym :) Oh, and Ty already knows my thoughts, not at the time... On the more serious note, Ty is amazing. She pushes and pushes and gets me to the point of proving to myself how much I can! The one thing at this point that I know that I will master, is that stupid jump rope! Oh, my goodness does it drive me nuts. I will by the end of this competition be able to jump rope continuously for 2 minutes. I have a few battle wounds on my elbows, I think I only fell once, it was almost like a rolling fall. Had to be there, I think I should have someone taking photos of me, they would be priceless come this time next year. 

Something else over the weekend... I went to buy me some new jeans. Why? Well, what happens to mine due to the thunder thighs that I do have, holes start to take over. Yes, holes! My thighs rub together so much that they create friction, and soon the jean is no longer there, just a hole where jean used to be. Yes, I know a sad, sad situation. So, I went to the mall. I invited my friend to go with me. She is a skinny little thing. I have to add that because she went to all the plus size stores with me. Aaahh, a glimpse of what a woman of my size must go through to actually look nice and have clothes that feel comfortable on. It was so nerve racking! Nothing at the first store. Why is that? Well, the pants are either way to long, or they are UGLY!  Why in the world would designers make things so inappropriate for fat people. We cannot wear strips in that direction, hello! Ok, so then the next store... UGLY! Finally I found some pants. Yes, I was willing to try on a few different pairs of pants and finally purchase two pair. This is just to get me through the next few weeks, hopefully! I will soon be out of a 20-22 and into the teens again. Whoot! 

I must be honest people, I had two bites of a chocolate cake. I know, I know... I wanted so much more believe me. But, I only had two bites! Amazing, I love cake. It is my weakness at this point. Not the store bought kind, I am good on that. It is the homemade delicious ones that get to me every time! 

I am feeling good about my weight for the first time in a long time. I guess the reason is, I am doing something about it. I know that no matter what happens tonight, I have done the very best I can, and I am so proud of myself for that. I believe in me, I know that I am worth it, and that I am already a winner. I have pushed and pushed this week, and there is nothing holding me back!